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Bellevue College
Bellevue, WA
May 9, 2001     Bellevue College
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May 9, 2001
 

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. 1 Arts and Entertainment Wednesday May 9, 2001 -( SPEED, Cont from page 7 smothering, feeling of choking, chest pain or discomfort, nausea or abdominal distress, dizziness or lightheadedness, derealization or depersonalization, fear of losing control or, "going crazy," fear of dying, paresthesias, and chills or hot flashes? When they say, "going crazy" do you think they mean walleyed and drooling while moaning and twisting your wrists like pretzels? I think they do? If you don't feel that Disorder suites you, you might receive a debilitating Social Phobia, or possibly Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder! And now, the first runner up for biggest reason to quit using so I can avoid the Amphetamine Induced Disorder goes to...Amphetamine Intoxication Delirium? Yes you might not know where you are, but you won't know who you are either? You'll bumble about for three fantastic weeks in the nearest convalescent center, or until you go back to normal? ? Here you can relax all day and not worry about the tiresome burden of paying attention or maintaining focus? Conversations will be a cinch? You'll find yourself disoriented to time, place, and even self! Imagine a romantic language disturbance, like dysnomia, or dysgraphia? You won't ever have to discern between objects again? Maybe you would be more partial to perceptual disturbances? Do you commonly mistake the banging of the door as a gunshot? Do folds in your bedclothes appear to be animated? And do you see people hovering above your bed? You're not alone? The disturbance develops over a short period of time and tends to fluctuate during the course of the day. If you're one of the lucky ones, you'll also get a disturbance in the sleep/wake cycle, thrown in absolutely free! The most common emotional disturbances exhibited are anxiety, fear, depression, irritability, anger, euphoria, and apathy. There may be rapid and unpredictable shifts from one emotional state to the other. And now, the one you've all been waiting for, the crowned champion of the Amphetamine Induced Disorder Contagious : A web review Robert Reis A&E Editor If you have an appreciation for original, lewd humor and an hour or so to kill, you might find www.heavy.com to be the perfect waste of time. Right off the bat, heavy.corn dazzles its viewer with a well-constructed, Flash interface, which is packed with colors, sounds and attitude. While the design of the website is top-notch by today's standards, the content of heavy.com is what makes it such an entertain- ing site. Heavy.corn packs laugh after laugh into thirteen easily navigable categories, some more vulgar and offensive than others. Ranging from highly original cartoon pro- grams to twisted audio and video clips, most college students should be able to find something amusing from the vast and plentiful content of this website. For some completely bizarre audio and video clips, 'Contagious' is the category to check out. In this category, you will find things rang- ing from prank phone calls using Arnold Schwartzenegger voice samples to lessons in ebonics and others that you'd just have to see to believe. Random spontaneity makes these media clips among the funni- est that you will find on the web. Music the sucks seems to be a large focus of heavy.com, seeing as how there are two sections devoted to exploiting it. 'Behind the Music that Sucks' is a spoof on the popular VH1 music documentary series. Heavy.com's version uses cartoon characters to portray the bizarre and hilarious made-up stories of the art- ists that really make our blood boil. Currently featured on 'Behind the Music that Sucks' is the trio of broth- ers known as Hanson. Their docu- mentary explores their transforma- tion from talentless brothers living in a barn to international popstars through the help of Donnie Osmond's magic apples, among other off the wall ideas. 'The Ameri- can Suck Countdown' is a top ten list of popular musical artists that have some severe problems in the eyes of the creators of this section. Artists such as N'Sync, Eminem, Kid Rock, and more are ripped on and trashed in this delightful statement against pop music. In the other ten categories to be explored in heavy.corn you will find dozens of original cartoons, music from artists that don't suck, interactive games, and so much more. It would take hours to dis- cover everything this site has to of- fer, however clicking around for just a few spare minutes will prob- ably bring about a smile to your face and a few good laughs. Since this site is loaded with media con- tent, I would recommend that it be viewed over at least a cable or DSL Internet connection on a computer with adequate processing power in order to experience the site to its full potential with minimal load time. Among websites with simi- lar content or purpose, heavy.com blows them all away with its im- pressive design and variety of high- quality content. Due to its crude and vulgar type of humor, this is not a site for everyone, however I recommend it to anyone that appre- ciates a good, not necessarily clean, laugh. o Opening in Bellevue on June 4 Excellence in hospitality! Unique, superior quality food! uthwestern Grill Growth and opportunity await you at Z'Tejas Southwestern Grill. It is a fantastic place to work. Z'Teja's Southwestern Grill will open in June. We are a serious restaurant that doesn't take itself too seriously. We are serious about taking great care of our guests and our employess and we have fun doing just that. We offer competitive wages. Training begins in mid-May with a June 1 opening. All positions are available: Servers [ Dishwashers I Pantry Hostesses 1 Food Runners I Bussers Bartender I Expo I Cooks Apply in person at Z'Tejas Southwestern Grill's Hiring Center, at 301 Bellevue Square (next to the malt office), (425) 467-5911, Monday-Friday 10-6 and Saturday 1 I-5. http://www.ztejas,com. E/O/E Sweepstakes ...Amphetamine Induced Psychotic Disorder? You'll never have to work again, cause you won't be able to? You've always been curious what it would be like to be that crazy bum screaming at the pavement, well now you can, simply by losing your mind? This loss of ego boundaries or gross impairment in reality testing will set you apart, and typically comes with prominent hallucinations for your viewing pleasure? People...they won't matter to you anymore; and for those of you who love people, there's an outside chance you'll develop...multiple personalities? You can start your own band all by yourself? Think of the lyrics you'll invent? You'll put Eddy Vedder out of business!! Just kidding Eddy, but seriously folks, don't settle for someone else's experiences with bugs or vermin crawling under their skin, experience it for yourself? And that's not all? If you order now, you'll get first dibs on your very own case of Schizophrenia?! Whether paranoid, catatonic, or disorganized type; or perhaps a lovely Delusional Disorder like the erotomatic, grandiose, jealous, persecutory or somatic type, you'll receive all the benefits of this hell on earth, courtesy of amphetamines. Thank you for tuning into the Amphetamine Induced Disorder Sweepstakes, and in parting, we'd like to include some additional facts. Amphetamine dependence and abuse are seen throughout all levels of society and are more common among persons between 18 and 30 years. Some Individuals who become dependent or abuse begin using in an attempt to lose weight. Dependence can occur rapidly when the substance is used intravenously or smoked. The few long-term cases recorded suggest that most users who've been dependent for 8-10 years will stop use, apparently the result of adverse mental and physical effects that emerge in association with long-term dependence. Although many individuals with substance related problems have good functioning, these disorders often cause marked impairment and severe complications. They may experience deterioration in their general health; malnutrition and other general medical conditions may result from improper diet and inadequate personal hygiene. We hope you've taken the most from this information. This was not an attempt to scare you. These are real side effects of a drug commonly used by college age adults. While these disorders aren't likely to manifest inside everyone, it is conceivable that an unsuspecting user could be afflicted with one or more. If while intoxicated you fit the criteria for what could end up being a permanent mental disorder, then you see how fine the line between sanity and insanity is. Brave it at your own risk, but if you must get high or expand your horizons, maybe you want to reconsider this particular route.